
the final curtain -- 16 days later
And now I can move on. The question has been answered: how long can it last before turning?
Today was the day. Blue-green moldy patches emerged on the space-age lasagna.
It takes 16 days out of the freezer for it to go bad. Now you know.
this is the lasagna i found in the closet, unfrozen (see suspiciously-space-age-lasagna). It has been at least 14 days since it’s been frozen, and it’s still looking like food (but not food i would want to eat). seriously, wtf? how does it not change? i vow to never eat a stouffer’s frozen lasagna again.

14 days later. where's the mold? would you eat it?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: master cleanse, preservatives, space lasagna

after 10 days in the cupboard, unfrozen
I’ve been on the master cleanse for nine days now. Last night I was looking around in the cupboard for some herbal tea and noticed a box I didn’t remember putting there. Oh, right, I thought, it must be some of the food my Sundance roommates gave me when they left — they didn’t want to lug stuff all the way back to Toronto with them. I didn’t even look in the bag, and when i unloaded the bag into my cupboard, I must not have looked at it either. Last night, in my cupboard, I saw a red box that said lasagna on it.
Hmm. lasagna in a box? Interesting. I pulled it out of the cupboard. And looked at it. And realized it should have been in the freezer.
It’s been thawed for ten days already, I thought. Let’s take a look!
I imagined it would be covered in mold, but no, it’s a perfectly preserved square of lasagna. The packaging wasn’t even bulging.
The box says “no preservatives,” but how can that be? A freshly made piece of lasagna in the refrigerator would have had mold on it by now. An unrefrigerated piece?
No, I didn’t eat it! I don’t like to eat anything out of a box. I usually throw food away after a few days — something about wanting what I eat to be filled with life force. Especially after not eating for so long. It didn’t even look or seem like food. More like a science project.
Wondering if the dogs would eat it (I’m dogsitting for Jack, my brother’s family’s boston terrier), I put it on the floor. Jack started in on it. I whisked it away before he could take a bite. it definitely made it past the sniff test for him. He’s still kinda longing for it. I think i made him sad. Poor baby, on his first morning away from his home for the first time. Maybe I should have given it to him. My nephews feed him from the table all the time.

notice the "no preservatives" at the bottom left!
Okay, back to making jewelry.